SOCIALIZE? COEXISTING COUNTS!

You’ve heard me talk a lot about the correct definition of ‘dog socialization’ and I wanted to continue that conversation to hopefully help anyone who is struggling to socialize their dog without creating behavioural issues too! Dogs need to be calm, respectful, practicing polite manners and obedient behaviour and not bullying, not being rude, not being intense, nor nasty nor impulsive during socialization. The human (you!) is correcting all the nonsense while teaching all the great stuff and holding everyone accountable for great manners. When dog owners are told to ‘socialize’ their dog or puppy, what often happens is that the dog is encouraged and enabled to get physical, mentally aroused, over excited, intense with other dogs OR put in a position where all that unwanted stuff is happening to them. This approach teaches the dogs that rude and wild behaviour and an impulsive and reactive mindset are A-OK by their owner! What should happen during ‘socializing’ experiences is that the dog or puppy should be learning how to be calm, polite, respectful, and obedient while in the presence of other dogs (and everything else in life) but without physical contact (some dogs don’t want it and that’s ok!) and with assertive advocating from the handler/owner. We teach our human kids to say ‘please/thank you’, to ask for permission for things and not to take or to demand, we teach them to be calm and patient in their mindsets and polite and respectful in their behaviour and attitudes BUT dogs are encouraged to be wild and crazy and impulsive and rude at the dog park or at the doggie daycare, their bad behaviours and rude mindsets are reinforced with all the treats, toys, affection, permissiveness and then folks are genuinely surprised when the dog acts like an over excited, impulsive, rude, reactive, aggressive, anxious, etc. etc. (basically a jerk) everywhere else in life too... but both examples are purely cause and effect, for better or for worse.

Learning how to coexist politely (calmly sharing space without pressure, touching or interaction) around dogs and learning how to calmly move away from dogs rather than moving into them and starting conflict like biting is a part of your dog’s training. Also remember that just because your dog can politely exist with some dogs, doesn’t mean that she will be fine around every dog. Sooo many dogs out in the real are pushy and rude and don’t respect other dogs’ personal space which is why it’s up to us handlers to be consistent assertive advocates for our pups and not allow other dogs (or people) to unfairly pressure the dog. The only way that your dog can do her job controlling her impulses and practicing calm and polite behaviour is if her handler is always doing their job by leading her, protecting and advocating for her and holding her accountable for those polite manners and behaviour!

There are SOOOOOO many dogs in the world who either prefer to just coexist once taught how or are simply too irresponsible (like that one friend who always takes things too far 🙄😂) for anything more than coexistence. Either way is fine, as long as they have a strong advocate who keeps others out of their personal space and also holds them accountable for polite manners and mindset at all times.